Several years ago I accepted a job as a payroll administrator because my analytical mind was confident it was the right decision. I had at least half a dozen reasons why this job was a good one. Five days into this job, I was full of tears and regretting my decision. I stayed there for over two years and cried on a weekly basis about how my analytical mind ill advised me. So, when I read “thoughts are spiritual seeds, which, when planted in the subconscious mind, have the tendency to sprout and grow but unfortunately the fruit is frequently not to our liking.” I thought, I have lived that over and over. I completely, wholeheartedly know that to be true.
I am now employed at an inner city high school. It has the potential for the Department of Education to assume control because the students level of performance has been low for some time. I have a dozen reasons to run from this place on a daily basis. But, I never think about running because I like it. I like the kids. I want to remind them of their own power. I feel empowered in wanting to empower them. I bask in the glory of seeing one student, in the midst of extreme chaos, say to me, “Miss, does x=4?”. Despite the chaos, he’s been trying to solve the algebraic equation I gave to him! These moments fulfill my innate desire to help others and there are at least a couple that happen each day, it’s just a matter of looking.
Now, for fulfilling my need for autonomy. My focus is like a laser. Autonomy & I have met and we are in the process of becoming lifelong friends.